POSSIBLY PERFECT

Since an accident left me with a spinal cord injury 3 years ago, I’ve been working closely with a diverse group of health care professionals who have been helping to strengthen not just my body, but my mind & spirit as well. One of these professionals is a naturopath whom I see once a week.

Now I’m normally open to receiving my naturopath’s feedback. However, lately I’ve been noticing how I’ve been consistently RESISTANT to one particular thing that she keeps saying: “YOU ARE PERFECT JUST AS YOU ARE!”

Really?

I don’t get it.

One of my life’s mottos is that as long as I am alive, I will strive to LEARN & GROW so that I can share what AMAZING POTENTIAL this human body and mind can BE & DO.  To say that I’m perfect would mean that there’s no room for improvement.

So now let me take you a recent morning moment. I was experiencing an emotional low when the sound of my naturopaths voice arose: “you are perfect just as you are.” Then I noticed it again – RESISTANCE!

Seeing that I’m a mindfulness teacher who is supposed to be teaching others about ACCEPTANCE – I figured: “okay resistance – let’s do this.” So while in bed, I meditated, “welcomed the unwelcomed” and then took out my journal.

Here’s what unfolded when I put pen to paper:

POSSIBLY PERFECT

I am open to the possibility that I am perfect as I am…weaknesses “issues” flaws…it’s all this “stuff” that may possibly be the fulfillment of my purpose.

It is possibly perfect…that I’ve been selfish, crazy & jealous.

It is possibly perfect…that I’ve offended others & disappointed friends.

It is possibly perfect that in the FULLNESS OF MY FLAWS

I experience my FULFILLMENT.

It is possibly perfect that it’s my IMPERFECTIONS

That provide a PLATFORM FOR MY PURPOSE.

How perfect that my accident left me with pain, stress, anxiety, & depression.

For now I can teach others how to cope with pain, stress, anxiety, & depression.

How perfect that I’ve lived so long with a lack of self-love, self-compassion & self-care.

For now I can teach others how to practise self-love, self-compassion & self-care.

By embracing this prideful ego

I’m forced to practise HUMILITY.

By embracing vulnerability

I’m forced to practise AUTHENTICITY.

By embracing my fears

I’m forced to practice FAITH.

I’m perfect not because I’m confident but because I can also be insecure.

I’m perfect not because I’m cool but because I can sometimes use a chill pill.

I’m perfect not because I’m friendly but because I can also be a bitch.

In the pursuit of learning, healing & growing…

In the pursuit of personal change & transformation…

In the golden pursuit of happiness…

…Why just claim half of me when I can claim ALL OF ME?

Why go without half,

When I can take the WHOLE OF WITHIN?

Taking half when I can take whole,

Is like taking the YANG & leaving the YIN.

My boyfriend taught me this:

When you take the word: “IMPERFECT”

And you place an apostrophe between the “I” & the “M”

And a space between the “M” &  the “P”

You get “I’M PERFECT”

So alas, IT IS POSSIBLY PERFECT that I am perfect as I am…weaknesses “issues” flaws…it’s all this “stuff” that may possibly be the fulfillment of my purpose.

possibly perfect(Above: Photo of the first page of my journal entry on Nov 13th, 2013)

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2 Responses to POSSIBLY PERFECT

  1. Glen Reyes says:

    That was perfect :p

  2. Michele says:

    Beautiful! I love it! Thanks for sharing the raw thoughts of Jaisa. You really have a gift in the area of writing/journaling…………..amongst the many other gifts, of course!

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